The Odd Broad

My Aquarius turns one!

My darling baby boy's first birthday has come and gone.  How that can even be possible is beyond me, but there you have it.  The party turned out to be a smashing success, despite coinciding with the first substantial snowfall we've had so far this year.  Naturally, the unpredictability of the weather sent me into full on pre-party panic mode: Should we cancel?  What about all that chilli, cheese, dip, (fill in the ______, add several expletives)?!?! Ahhhhhh!  In the end we decided to proceed with the festivities, and I'm really glad we did.

Our motiff was Whimsical Cookie Monster First Birthday, and I loved it so much I've yet to take it down.  (In my defense, William has been sick, and now I'm sick, and Hubby had surgery on his mouth and was out of commission for a few days himself, so the apartment is a real pigsty.  But a festive pigsty.)  Truth be told, I'm not really sure anyone gave a rat's ass about the party decor; save for myself and Hubby, my mom, and of course, the guest of honor himself.  (W was delighted with my handiwork, it makes him laugh, which is all I really care about anyways!)

No, I did not pay $40 on etsy for this banner...I made it myself, y'all!  It took me about an hour to hang, while the baby was napping, and that evening Hubby made the unfortunate decision of noting that perhaps the letters had been hung too close together.  (As you can imagine, I replied to his suggestion in a gentle, loving manner.)

There were lots of W's, 1's, and "Happy Birthday's" dangling from every doorway and bookshelf I could manage to hang a mini clothesline on.  Incidentally, I love that there are stores like Michael's where I can questions like, "Can you tell me which aisle the mini clothes pins are on?"  It is impossible for me to spend less than thirty minutes in that store.

The shelf with Kittie's ashes on it got decorated as well, because I'm creepy and I'd like to stay that way:

I don't know why the image below is importing rotated like this, but I don't have time to email Typepad to find out.  (Please humor me and turn your head, if you don't mind, to achieve full dangly effect):

And seriously, would you just look at this effing awesome cake my Godmother made?  She didn't even use a Cookie Monster cake mold, it was a teddy bear one!  We kept Cookie on our counter for far too many days before finally parting ways.

The other night on 30 Rock, Alec Baldwin's character said something like, "Being a parent is like wearing your heart on the outside of your body."  And it's true.  I've caught myself over the past couple of days just looking at my boy, watching him, my heart feeling like it could actually burst.  It's already filled to capacity with love for him, and yet every day I love him a little bit more.  It hurts to love someone that much, but I've also never felt so alive.  Does that sound strange?  I'm not the same person I was a year ago, not even a little.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.  xoxo

Stop hiding the halloween candy on me, Hubby

We really like our new neighborhood.  People are free to put flower pots and pumpkins and plastic bloody hands and Freddie Krueger heads out on their front porches without any fear of them being stolen.  This is the first time in over a decade that we haven't had a lock on our mailbox.  There aren't any pimps or hos around, either, which we appreciate.  It's novel, and nice.

My mother told us we're probably going to have a million trick-or-treaters on Halloween.  We've never had trick-or-treaters before!  Hubby is taking it all very seriously.  Not only has he decorated the front porch in a motif most festive, but he's also been slowly stocking up on our candy supply.  He's uber concerned that we have enough on the big night. 

Incidentally, when did Halloween candy get so pricey?  Is it me, or is it kind of douchy that a twelve dollar bag of candy be labeled a "Value Pack?"  What kind of a-hole signed off on that?  Maybe I should make a sign denouncing corporate candy makers and go sit with the Occupy Boston kids.  But then I might have to punch myself in the face.

And I digress.  Hubby has been buying a couple of bags of candy a week and attempting in vain to hide them from me.  I've actually restrained myself thus far, only stealing two Milky Ways for myself and a Kit Kat for Lukey the Wonder Nephew as a reward for his pooping on the potty.  It's possible I'm maturing.  Or perhaps I'm merely distracted by those Halloween Oreos.  (Orange creme filling!  But still that same great taste!)  On average, I've been eating about 20 a day.

This will be our sweet baby's very first Halloween.  It's also Hubby the Scorpio's 33rd birthday.  I'm taking the day off of work so I can be home and savor every minute. 

I've always loved the Fall.  This afternoon I plucked a bright red leaf off of the ground and held it up in front of my baby's big blue eyes.  For whatever reason, this leaf made him laugh really, really hard.  And then I was laughing, too. 

I hope this weekend finds you sipping a pumpkiny latte of some sort, Dear Reader.  Maybe you'll even crunch some red and orange leaves beneath your feet, if your location permits, or share a belly laugh with someone who makes you happy. 

xoxo

Morning Song...

It's just after 4:00 am and I can hear my bambino gently stirring next to me in his co-sleeper bassinet.  For a groggy moment I can't remember if I've just fed him or not, but then I realize the last time he ate was 1:30...or sometime in the one's...

We've been asleep!  Hubby too.  I reach carefully into William's bassinet and arrange him onto my newest feeding pillow (I've grown tired of the Boppy; this one is delightfully named "My Brest Friend") and he begins to eat. I notice his right hand is cold from having broken out of his swaddle. This boy has been busting out of swaddling blankets since we were together in the hospital. He's strong like an ox.  I cover his hand with mine to warm his tiny fingers and pull my comforter up around us.  His other hand is resting on my right arm, as if he's hugging me.  His feety pajamas say "I love mommy."  I could melt.

Later, I hold him awhile against my chest and we just snuggle.  I listen to the sounds of his breathing, his satisfied little coos.  I can feel his breath coming in light puffs on the side of my face, and I hold him even closer. Leaning back, I take a peek at the top of his little baby head.  Even in the dark, he's the most magnificent thing I've ever seen.  I can't believe I helped make him.

I lay him back down, reluctantly; I know I've got to get some sleep, too.  I re-swaddle him even though it's only a matter of time before that long, skinny arm of his escapes into the night air. 

We both fall back to sleep for two hours or so, until it's time to do this all over again.  Eventually it will be time to get up- there is "tummy time" to be had and mama has to eat, too; but I could easily pass the whole day this way, feeding my baby, changing his diaper, snuggling and singing us back to sleep.  Every song I've ever known seems to have taken on a new meaning now, custom tailored especially for William. 

Let the phone ring, let's go back to sleep...

Let the world spin outside our door, you're the only one that I wanna see...

...Stop worryin' about it, yes the cat's already been fed...

Come on Darlin', let's go back to bed...

He allows for a wide range in my set list: Jewel, Joni Mitchell, The Beach Boys, he'll even entertain a little Shania Twain...but I suspect he prefers John Lennon. 

My beautiful boy will be one month old tomorrow.  The end of my maternity leave is still many weeks away, but the mere mention of it is enough to reduce me to tears.  For now, I'm enjoying every precious second.  And with that, it's time to go.  My tiny little boss man is calling for me...

xoxo

Floating...

Have you ever spent the day on a boat, or floating in the water with the sun kissing your face?  And later, when you're back on land, have you ever felt as if your body was still rocking, still afloat?  Holding my new baby boy is a bit like that.

When I wake up in the middle of the night, I can still feel the weight of him in my arms. 

Huh?  William? 

I'm half asleep and in a cold sweat, probably from all the hormones.  Of course, I'm not holding him anymore, he's lying next to me in his bassinet.  But for a minute or so I feel like he's still snuggling against my chest.

The other morning my mother took him into the living room to cuddle so I could get some rest, and when I woke up I swear I could hear him breathing, my ears filled with the sweet little sounds that escape from his tiny, perfect lips. 

Will?  Prince W?  He was all the way on the other side of the apartment, so there was no way I could hear him breathing.  And yet...

This little angel has captured my heart completely.  Spending the days with him in my arms is better than floating in tropical waters...better than vacationing in Aruba...better than anything I've ever experienced in this world. 

Sigh.  Happy sigh.  I'm a tired, happy broad.  xoxo

What a difference a week makes...

One week ago today, a tiny miracle came into my life: my baby son, William Daniel.  Never in all my life has my heart been filled with such an overwhelming feeling of love.  He is my dream come true, and simply perfect in every way.

Okay, so maybe he wasn't so tiny.  Indeed, Prince William weighed in at 9 pounds, 8 ounces, and measured 21 inches long!  I'm not a big woman, which is probably why all of the nurses and doctors marveled at how this baby could have been dwelling inside of me.  (I blame the Oreos.)  I would be in labor for nearly 24 hours before I finally got to meet him, pushing for over two hours, feeling each painful contraction by that point due to the medicine they'd given me.  Then came the surprise Caesarean section.  And then came baby! 

Throughout the whole process I kept having moments where I'd think: Oh, I can't wait to tell Dear Reader about this!  There is so much to tell.  But for now, I'm going to take my sleepy, happy self into the living room to cuddle with my little Bambino.  That is, if I can get Hubby to give him up for a second.  (It turns out Hubby is a bit of a baby hog.  He's also quite a natural at being a daddy, much to my delight.)

More musings soon. 

Love,

The Odd (Mommy) Broad xoxo

It's go time!

For some reason I can't get that Cat Stevens' song out of my head: Morning has broken, like the first morning...blackbird has spoken, like the first bird...

Have you ever heard it?  But of course, in my head I'm singing: Water has broken, on this here morning...

That is because my water has broken, Dear Reader!  My little Bambino is on his way!  I'm just at home still, waiting out the early stages of labor.  I've done my hair, given myself Bare Essentials smokey eyes, and now the only thing left to do is wait for the excruciating pain to commence!  Haha! 

Hubby is being...well, Hubby.  As I took a shower, I could hear him emptying the dishwasher.  At one point he called out to me, "Should I freeze this chicken?  It goes bad on February 3rd..." 

He's excited.  And very prepared.  And, I suspect, just a bit nervous?  As for me, I'm pretty much ready to go.  I was hoping today would be the day all along, since it's my mother's 60th birthday.  Of course my little gentleman would want to arrive right on time!  Oh Reader, I'm a little scared, but just so thrilled to finally meet him.  Wish me luck. 

Love,

The Odd (leaky) Broad xoxo

Entering the home stretch

My Oreo cookie habit is getting much worse.  I'm up to about a pack every two days.  And tonight, on our way home from a tour of Beth Israel's maternity unit, I asked Hubby to stop into Rite Aid so I could pick up more.  I fear my relationship with "milk's favorite cookie" has progressed to the next level: I've moved on to the Double Stuf.

Oh yes, I've gone there.

Even as I type these words, I'm fully aware I have cookie crumbs staining the corners of my mouth, but I don't really give a good crap.  I'm a total barbarian.  I'm also 37 weeks pregnant today!  I'd be lying if I said I could think of much else these days except my sweet little son.  Today my midwife told me, "Call us if your water breaks!"

It's on.  It's on, Dear Reader! 

We were listening to Me First and the Gimme Gimmes in the car tonight, and I had to turn it up when their cover of Kenny Loggins' Danny's Song came on.  I haven't heard that song in ages, and suddenly the lyrics took on a whole new meaning.

People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one, and we've just begun, think I'm gonna have a son.

Holy crap!  Hubby and I are actually going to be someone's parents. 

Pisces, Virgo rising is a very good sign...strong and kind, and the little boy is mine. 

Will my Bambino be born under Aquarius, as predicted?  Will he be tall, blue eyed and handsome, like Hubby?  Will he laugh at the same things I laugh at?

Now I see a family where there once was none.  Now we've just begun, yeah we're gonna fly to the sun...

Thankfully, we're all settled into our new apartment.  The move wasn't even too bad, all things considering.  (Okay, so it was a bit of a shit show, but I'm wearing my rose colored contact lenses tonight.) I smiled and nodded as people kept telling me to relax, to go to a spa, to have Hubby drop me off at a museum- but let's face it, none of those things were going to happen.  Pregnant or not, I still couldn't stop myself from trying to carry boxes or getting down on my knees to scrub a cabinet or refrigerator.  Spa my ass!  I guess I'm just not that kind of girl. Incidentally, Hubby did the math and realized we've resided in three different apartments in 2010. We've been living like transient gypsies! It's no wonder poor Kittie is losing her marbles.

I do wonder a lot lately about what life will be like after the baby arrives, and what our "new normal" will be.  For so long it's been Hubby and me, just the two of us, living in our own custom little world.  Now there's a new member joining our act and soon we'll be a trio.  I find this miraculous.  Miraculous, terrifying and beautiful.  And I can't wait.  xoxo

 

PS: During the writing of this post, The Odd Broad consumed an entire row of Oroes. 

 

Happy hormones and unexpected songs

It's nearly Autumn in New England.  The leaves are starting to turn, the air is getting crisp, and it's almost cool enough to pull my sweaters out.  Sissy would say it's time for pumpkin spiced lattes.  The days are slowly getting shorter, and there's not a thing we can do to stop it.  It's a subtle change, and I'm noticing my body is gradually morphing in much the same way.  Maternity jeans that fit me only last weekend now make me feel like a sausage ready to pop out of its casing!  But that's pregnancy for you.

I love it, by the way.  Being pregnant.

Sometimes I don't even recognize myself when I walk by a mirror.  I mean, I've waited pretty much my entire life to have a chest, and now viola!  I've got one!  Having always been modestly endowed in that area, those two have traditionally kept to themselves, but these days...I've got a situation on my hands!  They kind of clash with my stomach after a big meal, if I'm not sitting up straight.  It's funny to see how the other half lives.  (The other half with boobs, that is.)

Of course, with the boobs, comes the belly.  At least my stitches are out.  My friend Gregg wondered, WHO gets a mole removed from their belly while they're knocked up?!  (This hot mess does, that's who!)  I'm not sure if you've ever been pregnant and had stitches on your stomach, but take my word for it- it's a tight fit.  My OBGYN took one look at those stitches, all angry and red, and offered to cut them out a week early right then and there.  When my dermatologist called to say she'd need to excise even more, because the cells turned out to be atypical, I was sort of...dejected.  More stitches, on my sausage casing tummy?  Luckily for me, she told me it would be okay to wait until just after my little Aquarius is safe on the outside before having to go cutting again.  I sure am glad I went to get it checked out in the first place, though.

I love feeling my baby move.  It's such a surprising sensation, and one that never ceases to amaze me.  He likes to kick during lengthy work meetings, which I find hilarious.  It's like we're sharing an inside joke, just the two of us, that nobody else is privy to.  Not to get all Andrew Lloyd Webber on you, but as the showtune goes...now, no matter where I am, no matter what I do, I see your face appearing...like an unexpected song, an unexpected song, that only we are hearing...

Up until now, nobody else has been able to feel him somersaulting, proof of the lovable little alien taking over my body.  And then the other night I was lying in bed and grabbed Hubby's hand and placed it on my belly.  All of a sudden his eyes went wide and he laughed and said, "What was THAT?"

"That's him!"  I answered.  Our boy.  We're having a baby.  I realize I'm over five months pregnant and all, but sometimes I still can't even believe it.  I'm walking around with a dreamy smile plastered across my face a lot these days, Dear Reader.  My bambino is kicking me now as I type.  It's time to go lie in bed and watch The Golden Girls, he seems to say.  Nite nite.  xoxo

Proposition 8 overturned!!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: marriage is a basic human right, and one that shouldn't be up for debate!  If we continue to wait around for every Tom, Dick and Harriet to get on board with this, we'll be waiting for all eternity!  I can't imagine having to ask permission from my elected officials and the American community at large for the right to be married to my husband.  The thought both sickens and saddens me.  I don't know who I'm madder at- our ineffectual, self-serving politicians, or the voting American public itself.

Let's face it- the main gripe with gay marriage rests on the fact that people feel it's morally wrong; a sin, if you will.  Separation of church and state, anyone?  Is this a religious issue or a political one?  Because if it's one, then surely it cannot be the other.  Because they're separate, right?  Hmmm... 

Make up your minds, haters!

Change is in the air.  I really hope it stays there.  xoxo

Awestruck

I heard my baby's heartbeat for the very first time this morning.  There I was lying on the exam table, grouchy, headachy and overtired, getting cold goop squeezed onto my belly.  For a split second I worried we wouldn't be able to hear anything.  But then, all of a sudden, it was as if the sound had been there in the room with us all along...

Thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump.

I thought my heart was going to burst.  The nurse told me the swishing sound we could hear was the baby moving around.  "It's very active," she smiled at me as I dried my eyes. 

I spent the rest of the day in a lovey dovey haze.  There's an itty bitty little wiggle worm living inside me, with a beating heart.  Babycenter.com says he or she is already about the size of an apple.  Only nineteen more days until we're able to find out if our tiny bambino is a he or a she.  Not that Hubby and I have a preference, of course.  Knowing the gender will simply bring us one step closer to discovering...who is this mysterious little sweet pea?

Thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump.

Sigh.  I'm so in love.  xoxo