Last month I finally got my period after a nearly twenty month hiatus. (TMI? Saw-reee.) Apparently breastfeeding delays the return of menses (did I just say menses?), and although I'm still nursing, my sweet baby is a year old now and my body must have just been ready. My vacation from the rag was something I didn't give much thought to, and only now in hindsight can I truly appreciate how lovely it had been. Because did it ever return with a vengeance. I got it again the other day and man (TMI alert): cramps galore, heavy flow, and talk about the moody blues. It's the kind of mood that at one time in my life may have inspired me to listen to Radiohead all day, or create bad poetry, or write things like, "Doubt, if you must, but persist!" on my bedroom walls, or maybe go for a walk with my friend Vanessa and sign up for Scientology classes.
But I don't really have time for such indulgences these days! I'm somebody's mama now!
Still, my current emotional temperature has inspired me to take stock. I really adored Gretchen Rubin's book, The Happiness Project, and Hubby got me one of her 2012 page-a-day calendars for Christmas. (Incidentally, I've read that her birthday falls in December and I can't help but wonder: Sagittarius or Capricorn?) Among doing a million and one other really helpful, insightful things, Ms. Rubin's book encourages the reader to establish a set of personal commandments by which to live. I suppose I've been sort of informally keeping a running list going in my head, and this morning while I was gargling I happened to think of a few...
1. Buy the extra large box of tampons, for crying out loud! Yes, I have access to an unlimited supply in the bathroom at work, and a box containing 36 tampons certainly does seem like more than I'll ever possibly use, but come on, now. I'll use them. Of course I will. And while we're on the subject, do I enjoy running around in a frenzy, searching through old purses and junk baskets in the hopes of finding some forgotten old tampon? And yet, why does this happen, time after time? (I know I'm not the only one, either, because Sissy told me she did the same thing last month.)
2. If someone does something (or forgets to do something) that ends up hurting me, I don't have to fall apart over it. I don't have to hold a grudge, but I don't necessarily have to go out of my way to be overly nice to them, either. And I do not have to take it personally, because most of the time it has nothing to do with me. Being a lifelong people pleaser, this lesson has proven to be very difficult to come by, but I think going through childbirth may have sealed the deal. I simply don't have to try so hard! (These days I'm too tired to be a serious people pleaser, anyways.)
3. If something is really bothering me, either do something to try and fix it, or resolve to let it go. I'm the type of person who will stew over something until it makes me crazy, but often times if I just address the problem I can let it go without a second thought. Sometimes I have to be a big girl and stand up for myself, and if I don't feel compelled to, well, it mustn't have been that important to me in the first place. (Hence I should stop obsessing over it!)
4. Strive to surround myself with the warm and fuzzies. I'm realizing I need to be reminded often of things that on the surface may seem really obvious. My favorite quotes, books, and teachers, for example- all of the things that give me those happy, usually fleeting moments of Zen- I need to remind myself of these things on a daily basis or it's shockingly easy for me to go off track. (As in, Zen...Zen...Zen, "Hey you a*shole, there's a stop sign there!!") My favorite teacher in college had a beautiful book of poems published posthumously, and when I read her words, not only do I feel her spirit, but I become enveloped by such a profound sense of peace. Why don't I open up Julie's book more? Why don't I ever practice my Qi Gong? I think I need to make more of an effort to set myself up for Zen, or else it just isn't going to happen.
And on that note, it's back to work for me. Happy Monday, Dear Reader.
Love,
The Menstrual Broad xoxo







