I walked into work this morning in a kind of reverie, a love haze, if you will. I was thinking about my baby.
He'd been sleeping in bed with Hubby and me the night before, and I'd spent a good deal of the early morning just watching him, in all his glorious baby perfection. I watch as he rolls onto his side and curls his little fists up to his chest, resting them under his chin. It's exactly the same way I sleep. I wonder what he dreams about.
I'm truly in awe of this little soul. How is it possible he is six months old tomorrow?
My morning passes quickly. My work days fly by fast since I've been back full time, which is probably a blessing. Hubby stays home with William during the day and works nights and weekends. It's true we're often two sleepy ships passing each other in the night, each one working when the other is not, but this situation was literally an answer to my prayers. (Seriously, Mary is my homegirl.)
Hubby calls me around 11:00 am. "Do you think it would be okay if I dropped Will off with you on your lunch hour?" My heart does a happy little dance. Of course it's okay.
W is sleeping when they arrive. Hubby pulls him out of his carseat and places him carefully into his stroller. He gives me a quick smooch and he's off to pick something up at work. When my baby opens his enormous blue eyes, it's my face he sees.
"Hi, my baby boy!" I say, and watch as his face breaks into one of his giant, million dollar grins. We walk down Newbury Street into the Public Garden, where I point out birdies, ducks, swans, doggies, and give him a close-up look at the Make Way For Ducklings statues.
Later, as we wait for Hubby to return, I pull W out of his stroller and hold him close. It's always windy by Copley Square, so I snuggle him even closer and breathe in his sweet baby smell. I start to quietly sing:
Why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told, and some choose to believe it-
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
We're standing outside, surrounded by the sounds of buses, taxis and cars. There are plenty of business types swirling about, smoking or talking on cell phones, but as far as I'm concerned there is nobody around but my baby and me. Time stands still for a moment and I realize I'm perfectly happy. I'm happy deep down to the bottom of my Payless flats.
All of us under its spell...
We know that it's probably magic...
I don't care who hears me singing. I don't even care that I have to head back into work in a few minutes. Something inside my heart shifts, and for some reason I know everything is really going to be okay. I won't always have to be away from William for 10 hour stretches, we won't always be in debt up to our eyebrows, or live in such a crappy neighborhood. Our future is only as bright as I can envision it. And our present is pretty magnificent as it is.
I'm going to teach William to believe in the power of his dreams. He's my dream come true, so it's the least I can do for him.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing?
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me...
xoxo




