Last night I had a very vivid dream.  I was in Science class and my 7th grade Geography teacher, Mr. Phelan, had just asked me to give a witty speech about why Robert Pattinson was smoking hot.  I had only minutes to prepare.  My friend Amy was with me, and I sat at the back of the auditorium, hunched over my notebook.  I wrote frantically.

My sister wasn't surprised at my dream.  She's in her second trimester of pregnancy now, and will be the first to credit Edward Cullen as a good deal of the inspiration for conceiving her second born.  R-Pat is even better looking, she contests, when he's not wearing:

1.) a peacoat

2.) whiteface

and

3.) lipstick

You may already know my thoughts regarding the Twilight sensation.  While I find the self-loathing Bella a wretched role model for young girls, and the intensity of her relationship with Edward dangerously limiting (ie: she'd rather lie in a field staring into the sparkly boy's eyes than take the frigging SAT's), even I can admit that vampire is rather dreamy.  If one is into that sort of thing.

I won't lie, most of the time I play for Team Jacob.  Especially after watching New Moon.  (I'm raising my eyebrows as I type this last sentence, can you tell?)  Yes, the sunny werewolf has my vote even after I went on imdb and discovered, much to my horror, that Taylor Lautner was born in 1992.  (He did just turn eighteen, though!)

Impure thoughts regarding shirtless, tanned werewolf minors aside, my dream last night was a weird one.  R-Pat dominated much of the conversation at work today, and a friend told me to google what he revealed this week on The View.

Have you heard about this, Dear Reader?  How R. Pattinson told Details magazine he's allergic to (and hates) vaginas?  He was also quoted on The View as saying he thinks Betty White is one of "the sexiest women in America."

Say what?

So, R-Pat...what you're saying is...I have a chance.  Come on, even on my worst day I'm way hotter than Rose Nyland!  I'm just saying.

Comments

[Sissy]

Vivid RPatz dreams are the best. And you are waaaay hotter than Betty White. You're even hotter than Rue McClanahan.

[Amy]

I like this post, I like it a lot. I can't wait to see the next film and giggle with all the teenage girls every time one of those boys is shirtless!

[the odd broad]

Hotter than Blanche Hollingsworth Devereaux? Sister, let's not get crazy here.

I can't wait to see the next one either. I think I giggled for three days straight after the last one. Not right.

[Weinerdog]

The only thing saving you from being judged by me on this is your deep & abiding love for Alan Rickman.

[the odd broad]

Weiner, my love for Alan Rickman is eternal...

[Keely]

This guy just doesn't do it for me. I think I'd rather do Betty White-she is kind of a hottie!

[the odd broad]

LOL- Betty IS a handsome woman and all...

[Gregg]

Too bad I'm 32, a male, and have had multiple dreams about Edward. Mmmm..... I'll probably have another tonight. Don't get me started. ;-)

[the odd broad]

Dream away, Greggie! It's been a long week, you deserve it!

[gualetar]

The subject is fully clear but why does the text lack clarity? But in general your blog is great.