I won't lie; I'm feeling a little deflated as of late. Last night, after sensing something wasn't quite right with Kittie, we took her to a vet to be checked out.
I've noticed she's been peeing an awful lot lately and knew that couldn't be good. When I called to make the appointment, the woman on the phone asked what my pet's name was.
"Kittie," I answered. "With an "ie." (Oh yes. I went there.)
An ominous kind of feeling had me sort of crying before we even walked through the door. But still, I wasn't fully prepared when the doctor came back into the room and told us Kittie had feline diabetes.
"Okay," I nodded, perhaps a bit too quickly. I kept on nodding vigorously as she explained that Kittie was far too overweight (the nerve!) and we'd have to put her on a special diet. But I stopped nodding when she told us in the same breath that we'd need to administer shots of insulin to her twice daily for probably the rest of her life. It would be a serious commitment, she continued.
Her tone was matter of fact and clinical, but not completely unkind. I lowered my head into my chest and tried in vain to conceal the fat tears escaping from my eyes. I couldn't keep nodding anymore, not really. I couldn't even look the woman in the eye. Eventually she handed me a paper towel.
And there we were. Our little friend was sick and was going to need us now more than ever.
Pain is relative, and I fear only an animal lover will understand. I just feel so anxious, upset and alone. I can't even clip Kittie's nails, let alone stick a needle in her! Will she understand it's for her own good? Or will she think I'm trying to hurt her? I suppose I'll never know.
On my way home from work tonight I stopped into church, a place I haven't stepped foot in since my grandmother's funeral this past May. There in the darkness, I fished $1.50 out of my bag, lit a candle and let myself cry for a moment as I asked God for a little bit of...strength.
Oh Sissy.... :(
Posted by: Sissy | October 30, 2009 at 07:10 AM
Poor Kittie w/ an ie :(
PS
she's like Katii w/ two i's!
Posted by: Weinerdog | October 30, 2009 at 09:51 AM
She is totally Katii with two i's...only not as crazy!
Posted by: the odd broad | October 30, 2009 at 09:59 AM
PS: If anyone is crazy right now, it's definitely me...I'm a total hot mess! It helps that I have pms, that's adding a nice dynamic into the mix.
Posted by: the odd broad | October 30, 2009 at 10:27 AM
So sorry! If it makes you feel better giving Kittie the shots will get easier and pretty soon it will just become part of the daily routine. Kittie will get used to it as well. Hang in there!
Posted by: Amy | October 30, 2009 at 10:57 AM
Thanks Am! Hope you and MareBear are feeling better. xoxo
Posted by: the odd broad | October 30, 2009 at 11:17 AM