Dear Customer:

A Few weeks ago, NStar notified us they'd be turning off our electricity for the third time this summer.  Oh, not because we're delinquent on payments or anything; they're shutting off everyone's power on our block to perform repair work on The Grid.  I don't know where this grid is, or what it is even, but it sounds official enough.  And since the electricity situation in our building is dubious at best, I understand there's a need for some serious attention.  But, I ask you, in the middle of summer? 

In any case, what this specifically means to me, your run of the mill residential energy sucker, is at approximately 1:00 am Saturday morning my power will be "interrupted" and will remain so until roughly 1:00 pm that day.  There will be no morning mug of Fair Trade Wake Up Blend, no hot water, no fans or air conditioning.  Have I mentioned July in Boston is fairly steamy? 

Possibly even more distressing is the fact that the food in our refrigerator spoils.  We do our best to be proactive on this front; on Friday I took one for the team and polished off the rest of that ravioli stuffed with Vermont goat cheese and arugula apricot pesto (a dangerously delectable little foodstuff I happened upon last week at Whole Foods).  But some things we just aren't able to use up: a gallon of milk, two and a half sticks of butter, three quarters of a bottle of fish sauce, half a jar of mayonnaise...

It's enough to make a renter feel helpless!  Hubby and I have each called NStar separately to air our grievances, and both received pretty much the same bogus answer: "You were notified in advance so you could make other arrangements."

Yes, but...  (Why is yes, but such a dignity depleting phrase?)

NStar is not concerned that we've had to throw away perfectly good racks of boneless skinless chicken breast.  Or that we find it a challenge to sleep in the scorching heat with no fan or white noise to block out the grid work/usual Saturday night Fenway debauchery unfolding outside our window.  They don't give out coupons or compensate for spoiled food.  Yikes.  Stick that in your socket and smoke it.

My thoughts turn self-righteous.  Forget Hubby and I, what about the elderly, hmmm?  What about the sickly, or the babies, the young children?  Surely it's not advisable for them to be left without electricity in this heat?  The humidity alone is unbearable!

"Well, ma'am, they were notified in advance so they could make other arrangements."  Incidentally, I strongly dislike it when people refer to me as ma'am.  Even though I am, technically, a ma'am.  (I am a ma'am.  Try saying that ten times fast.)  But I still feel very much like a Miss, and I like to think I look like one, too.  Of course, all this is irrelevant, since I was speaking to this person over the telephone.  And I digress.

The representative went on to explain that there are lots of permits NStar must receive before being allowed to perform this sort of grid work.  At least they stretch these service interruptions out over time, rather than leaving residents without power for an entire weekend.  Not to mention, they won't even be charging us for this "upgrade," as she referred to it.  (Read: I should really shut my mojito hole and just be grateful for NStar and all their electrical selflessness.)

I'm well aware that the power situation here is "troubled".  If the electricity in my apartment building were a teenager, it would be selling crystal meth to pre-schoolers, ditching Algebra and knocking up Freshman. 

Likewise, I understand the consequences of a city not having adequate power.  I was there in 2003 when New York had the blackout, I remember what that was like.  I also remember anticipating that it might happen again every summer after that.  So I'm not entirely unreasonable.  But it still doesn't mean I like having my electricity switched off for twelve hour spans. 

Which brings us to Friday night.  We'd both had a few cocktails, but tipsy or not, we're getting pretty skilled at this whole preparation thing.  We readied the flashlights, the Tap Lights, and around 12:30 we put any food worth salvaging into the freezer.  We headed to bed around 1:00 to enjoy the last chilly gusts from our dinky little window air conditioner, turned on an episode of Cheers, and waited.  1:30 came and went, and still we had power.  I woke up a few hours later and realized the television was still on, so I switched it off and went back to sleep.  But for whatever reason, I continued to toss and turn all night in anticipation. 

We never lost power.  After all that fussing!  Perhaps the rain prevented them from working?  Although I did see lots of NStar trucks outside my window.  Either way, I certainly wasn't complaining.

At around 5:30 Saturday morning, I walk into our kitchen and peer into the freezer.  Our gallon of milk is frozen solid.  Sometimes even the best laid plans go awry.

Comments

[Sissy]

Lying Bastards!

[the odd broad]

For reals! And they could at least knock 15 bucks off the bill or something.

[Sissy]

You should get solar panels so you don't need their grid and really stick it to 'em!

[the odd broad]

Yeah Mare. I'm gonna do it!