I've been talking about getting one of those neti pots ever since Dr. Oz mentioned them on Oprah. You know those little tea pots that you fill with warm water and pour into one nostril, and the water comes out the other end? I was intrigued.
They looked simple enough to use, didn't they? I added it to my list of products I obsessively longed for but never really remembered to buy.
Today we were in Whole Foods and finally picked up a neti pot of our very own.
I stood in the bathroom and watched intently as Hubby gave it a go. "Why are you coughing?" I wondered. The water was going down his throat. "Are you sure you're doing it right?" It took maybe two tries before a perfect stream of water came dripping out his other nostril. He then switched sides and did the same thing to the other nostril. I looked on, amazed. I couldn't wait to try.
The instructions said not to share, but we cleaned it out and did so anyway. This was going to be a piece of cake.
I couldn't do it. I couldn't get that f**king neti pot to work! The water went in my nostril and down my throat, leaving a burning sensation. What the? Despite several earnest, increasingly frantic attempts, I could not get any water to come out my other damn nostril. And believe me, I tried.
I long for clean, debris free nostrils! NETI POT!! I will master you if it's the last thing I do!
6:50 pm: Gave it another go. Success remains painfully unattainable.
7:00 pm: Just gave it ANOTHER go (after all, is this post really going to end with me not being able to maneuver a neti pot?) Yes. Yes, it is.
7:05 pm: I try again. Kittie makes several endeavors to jump into the sink as I pour. This time it feels like I'm swimming under water and the back of my head starts to feel sort of funny. It is all very dramatic. I tell Hubby I need a hug.
I think that's enough water up my nostrils for now. But I will master the neti pot; maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday soon my nostrils will thank me. xoxo
Odd Broad Addendum:
Sunday, 9:12 PM
It pains me greatly to inform you that Neti Pot has met its untimely end. It was left perching precariously upon our too small bathroom sink, and Hubby accidentally knocked it over and it smashed. The minute I heard the crack I knew. Rest in peace, neti pot; we hardly knew ye.