In elementary school I had a teacher with a reputation for being a hardass. Looking back as an adult, I couldn't tell you if she truly was mean or not, but back in those days she certainly fit the mold. She had flaming red hair, a permanent scowl, and an imposing, hands on hips type of physique.
She referred to a grade of zero as a goose egg. She threatened goose eggs pretty much on a daily basis. In all fairness, I can't say this woman was ever anything but kind to me, but then again I never gave her reason to behave otherwise. After all, I was no dummy.
She'd also chant, "Time for ketchup, time for ketchup!"
Ketchup? I always found that one particularly baffling. I think I might have been in college when I finally figured out that she meant "catch up." As in, time to catch up on homework.
It's time for the odd broad to ketchup on life.
The other day I awoke from the strangest dream, about a friend I hadn't thought about in a long time. I tore out of bed, frantically flung open the lid on my desk and there it was...
A seemingly harmless pile of papers, stacked a million miles high. Or, technically, eight inches. What was lurking in this pile, you may wonder?
Oh, an invitation to a baby shower. (RSVP by May 15th)
An invitation to a wedding shower (Kindly RSVP by May 1st, and please include a favorite recipe.)
An invitation to a 25th Anniversary party.
Bills upon bills, a postcard from the Shark Vacuum company telling me they'd charged my debit card and were sending my filters in two to three weeks. To Queens.
A letter from Kittie's insurance company, who also still thought we lived in New York.
Suddenly I thought of the rest of the things I'd allowed to pile up: The email from my friend in Colorado who'd recently given birth, complete with pictures of her newborn baby girl. I hadn't responded. I hadn't even opened the picture files, in fact. The warm email from my old boss. The emails from hubby's Grandpa.
Now, I wouldn't exactly label myself as anal, but I do like to think of myself as moderately thoughtful. May was a horrible month, but I'm shocked and amazed that I'd allowed things to pile up so drastically.
And now, I will ketchup, one RSVP at a time, which is really the best I can do.
Sincerely,
Ms. Bad Manners xoxo
I remember the teacher you are talking about! And yes, way back then, she absolutely fit the "mean mold"... I remember being terrified when I saw my name on her class list!
Posted by: Lori | June 08, 2009 at 08:43 AM
Me too, Lori B! That woman made me nervous!
:)
Posted by: the odd broad | June 08, 2009 at 09:00 AM
does she still teach? should i worry about my girls getting her?
Posted by: thayhurst@lowell.k12.ma.us | June 08, 2009 at 09:32 AM
Hi Tam, I don't think she still teaches there...
Posted by: the odd broad | June 08, 2009 at 10:18 AM
God I hope she does not teach still...she was old when we went to the good old Campbell School how old do you think she is today??? I can't remember her name but I remember the face and of course that crazy red hair!!!
thanks of making my Monday morning fun!!
Posted by: Jenn | June 08, 2009 at 10:25 AM
Are you talking about Mrs. "T"?
Posted by: Sissy | June 08, 2009 at 11:28 AM
I looked online and I didn't see her name in the list of teachers. Also, I hadn't realized Cambpell is only K-4th grade now!?
Sissy, yes...it's "Mrs. T"!!
And Jenn, congrats on your graduation! Very cool!
:)
Posted by: the odd broad | June 08, 2009 at 12:54 PM
Funny you should mention mrs. t, I was at her house last week. She is now known as "betty the cake lady". She's making my wedding cake, she's very crafty, but still dry and sarcastic.
Posted by: bill | June 09, 2009 at 04:54 PM
For reals? That's crazy that I was just thinking about her! Somehow I never pictured her as a Betty.
Posted by: the odd broad | June 09, 2009 at 08:53 PM
Mrs. T actually made me a Sesame Street cake for my 2nd birthday. She always was very crafty....we did lots of crafts with her and Mrs. Garvey.
Posted by: Sissy | June 10, 2009 at 06:49 PM
Okay, maybe I did know she made cakes. I remember seeing a picture of that Sesame cake. It's all coming back to me...
Posted by: the odd broad | June 11, 2009 at 09:08 AM
Thanks The Odd Broad on the graduation congrats!!!
OMG...I love Mrs. T, she was my favorite teacher.
I would love to send her an email if anyone has it please pass it along.
Thanks a million!
Jenn
Posted by: Jenn | June 12, 2009 at 05:16 PM
Jenn, I bet Bill has a way of reaching her...since she's making his wedding cake! Maybe ask him on Facebook?
Posted by: the odd broad | June 12, 2009 at 06:10 PM
I will have to do that!
Thanks Odd Broad!
Posted by: Jenn | June 15, 2009 at 06:48 PM