I've had it!

I'm feeling rather punchy as of late.  In light of this, I would like to unleash my wrath in several directions, in no particular order:

1.) The media.  When a news story hits, be it tragic, sexy or scandalous, the same pathetic, predictable bullshit inevitably ensues.  The media will pounce and rabidly pick away until there is no story left to discuss or analyze.  Like the carcass of a juicily succulent rotisserie chicken, there is nothing left to chew.  It's all bones, folks.

I am especially bitter this week, since I've been unable to catch the weather forecast because news of a more pressing nature has taken precedence.  Namely, our fine married Governor spending a shocking amount of time and money on high class prostitutes.  (I love that term: high class.  Is this meant to separate the high class hookers from the low class ones?  Jeeze, whatever career path one embarks on, that pesky status thing is simply unavoidable.)

It's not that a part of me doesn't feel sorry for the gov, no matter how sleazy and hypocritical his actions may have been.  But come on, Spitz.  You've publicly betrayed your three daughters and your accomplished, intelligent, beautiful wife and for what?  For a 22 year old hooker from Jersey?  A young woman who possessed neither the foresight nor presence of mind to switch her Myspace page to "private" after the nasty scandal hit?

There is no weather, apparently, for Spitzer paid for putang.  This is, after all, a far more pertinent and sensational matter.  At the end of the day, is the media really anything more than a glossy, shiny bunch of glorified gossips? 

2.)  K-Fed: The Unsinkable Mr. Spears.

I have had just about enough of this opportunistic little rat.  Does anyone else agree?  It saddens me that he's rising above the ashes while his hot mess of a wife continues to self destruct.  Just this morning I was reading AM NY on the way into work when I read that Alicia Silverstone refused to tape an episode of How I Met Your Mother because Britney was slated to play her receptionist.

Alicia, my vegan friend, I just looked into your refrigerator in this month's issue of Rachael Ray at Home and you really seem like a nice enough girl.  But I feel you have some maturing to do.  I mean, first you refused to shake conservative Elizabeth Hasselback's hand on The View, and now you're turning on Brit?  What political grudge can you possibly hold against her?  Do you not brake for trashy, pot bellied ex-pop divas?  I've had it with Hollywood and their holier than thou antics.  Alicia, I loved you as Cher Horowitz, and it's obvious you care about a number of worthy causes, but I think you should perhaps take a page out of the 1960's musical sensation Hair: 

"...especially people who care about strangers, who care about evil and social injustice...do you only care about the bleeding crowd?  How about a needing friend?"  (Random musical theater moment there, Dear Reader.  I'll try not to let it happen again.)

Not two inches above this article I found a picture of K-Fed, in all his mousy glory.  It seems Mr. Spears may be set to embark on a bright new endeavor: The Great White Way.  That's right, talks are in the works for him to appear in the Broadway production of Legally Blonde.  It was all I could muster not to vomit.  K-Fed, do you feel no remorse for abandoning your collective babies' mamas not once, but two times?  I am in no way excusing the irresponsible actions of Britney Spears.  But after being bled dry by mother, father and husband, is there truly nobody who can come to the aid of this train wreck?  The media is having a field day tearing her to shreds, and these are the same people who will no doubt be salivating over her funeral, Anna Nicole style.

Under these circumstances, for K-Fed to not only gain but sustain a career that was born out of his estranged, drunken wife, and then climb higher and higher even as she continues to publicly unravel is just astounding. 

3.) My final lashing goes out to Laura Ingraham, the political reporter and radio host who labeled Brett Favre a woman for crying when he announced his retirement after playing what many consider to be one of the most stellar seasons of his career.  So what you're saying, Laura, is that a man who is capable of expressing his emotions and acknowledging his appreciation for something he deeply loves is a...woman? 

As if being a woman is something to be ashamed of, something wretched, something undesirable, something weak?  This is exactly the type of woman I cannot bear: a self hating female.  I myself have never equated strength with being able to deny one's feelings.  As if young boys don't already receive enough unhealthy messages: don't cry, be tough, be a man! I say cry all you want, or else live your life being a suppressed, repressed douchebag. 

Laura, you denigrate not only strong, sensitive males everywhere, but your fellow women.  I am sorry to share my gender with you.  You don't even deserve to have a vajayjay.  I think it should be revoked.

Phew.  I feel better.  xoxo

Comments

[weinerdog]

I've had it too!
My whole office is chattering away like a sewing circle over the Spitzer thing...........oh and my office is all men!
Also, I just found out one coworker is neighbor to and friend of said prostitute from Jersey........I'm in for a long day.

[Sissy]

Amen Sista! That Laura Ingraham is an a-hole! Of course, so are Spitzer and K-fed!

[weinerdog]

Get this, it's been insinuated that I'm jealous of the prostitue because I don't want to talk about her!

[weinerdog]

Get this, it's been insinuated that I'm jealous of the prostitue because I don't want to talk about her!

[The Odd Broad]

Oh, yes, that must be it!! Pigs! That is not appropriate office talk, especially considering you're the only female there!!

[Karen]

I had to work the night this story broke....everyone was talking about Spitzer and I couldn't escape it! AAAGGGG!!!

I'm done with the media too....especially FOX. There trying to connect Hillary to this scandel. Really?! Like she has nothing else to do except worry about Spitzer's sex life and where he's getting his next BJ.