Sans Elastic

In case you've ever wondered, there is no discreet way to yank up your tights while in public. 

Perhaps I was already aware of this, but I only just rediscovered it on Wednesday morning.  I had decided to take extra caution against the cold and wear my new heavy black footless tights with my dress and tall boots. 

I thought I was being pretty smart, but I wasn't out the door more than two minutes before my tights had shimmied themselves halfway down my thighs.  As if this wasn't unpleasant (and chilly) enough, they'd also mercilessly chosen to drag my drawers along with them.  What had my underwear ever done to them? 

With each step my thoughts grew more desperate.  Maybe the subway car would be deserted?  After all, all I really needed was a few seconds to give those tights a quick hike.  Nobody would ever notice...

The subway was packed.  My covert undergarment adjusting was not about to happen, not even just a little.  It was with sadness and disbelief that I resigned myself to ride the twenty minutes to work with droopy tights and unruly drawers.  You may wonder if it's possible for one to retain an attitude of goodwill under these circumstances.  Let me tell you: it is not. 

Once inside the quiet sanctity of my work bathroom stall, I hiked those suckers up to the high heavens.  (The tights, that is, not my underpants.)

I ask you, if a pair of tights is going to run me fifteen bucks, is it too much to ask that they contain a little elastic in their waistband?  I posed this question to a fellow coworker.  She commiserated and suggested that the only real way to keep a pair of tights from drooping is to wear my underpants on the outside of my them. 

Hmmm?  What was that again?

I don't think I'll try that.  There's got to be a better way.  If you happen to know what it is, would you let me know?

xoxo

Comments

[Weinerdog]

I always buy control top, let me tell you aside from disguising any vpl I might have those suckers ain't goin' nowhere!

Also, if I happen to be wearing a non control top pair or maybe I've just washed them so much that they droop, I always find the office kitchen a good place for a quick hike!

[The Odd Broad]

Weinie, what is vpl?

[Weinerdog]

Visible Panty Line!

[The Odd Broad]

Dear Lord. I have one of those every day.

[Weinerdog]

If you wear tights or nylons..........it doesn't happen.

It is a bit of a pain in the ass though!

[Emma]

I actually had a classic "step out of my tights" situation in the very public place of the Queen Victoria Building in Sydney. I felt them slide over my bum, as they headed quickly towards my knees, I was left with no other choice than to stand to the side of the pavement and slip one foot out of my heels, then out of the tights and quickly back into my heel. This operation was completed on the other side, and off I went. Did anyone see me?? I don't know - I didn't look back!!

[The Odd Broad]

Emma, your story is fabulous! Sadly, I have never been to Sydney, but I am an Aussie at heart! (Kath and Kim is my most favorite tv show, as well as "We can be heroes." I received the latter as a Christmas gift, but we can't get it to work in our dvd player.) :)

[Emma]

Look at moi, look at moi! Do you love the Aussie version or the US version of Kath and Kim? I only discovered your site yesterday (bored at work, would you beleive... no?!!) and had hours of entertainment and many giggles. Keep up the great posts and little life insights. You defintiely have a new fan down under!

[The Odd Broad]

The Aussie version, I'm not really sure if there's a US version? Just thinking of that show makes me laugh. "Kim, I have one word to say to you" :)

I hear Chris Lilley has a new TV series? I can't wait until it makes its way over here. I adore Australian humor!!

Thanks for reading!! :)