The Little Mrs.

What are your thoughts on addressing envelopes?  Do you have any?  I do.  In fact, I have several.

I remember a tense moment at my parent's kitchen table while I was addressing my wedding invitations.  Things were going just swimmingly when all of a sudden we hit a snag.  You see, Mom and Dad had just suggested I write Mr. & Mrs. (insert male's full name) and as you might imagine, I was having a difficult time of it. 

My eyes began to water: "What?  I'm not writing it that way! I can't!"  (I couldn't, could I?)

I gazed with disbelief at my mother, who'd always acted as my feminist guru over the years.  A master at reasoning with me, she took the practical approach:  "Some of the older people will definitely be offended if you don't address it that way.  It's ridiculous, it's annoying, but it's just the way it's done."

No doubt trying to be helpful, Dad chimed in: "It's not a big deal, it's just an envelope!"  (Says the lovable Mr.)

In the end, amid sighs and grumbles, I compromised.  A few of the guests were addressed in the aforementioned archaic manner and a good portion of the rest were not.  I tried to forget about my short-lived hypocrisy in regards to the envelope episode.  (And otherwise those invitations were lovely, I must tell you!)

This subject arises more than I'd like it to, however.  Why, just this month, as my mailbox filled up with Christmas cards, there I was again: Mrs. (Hubby's First and Last Name).   

My boss, mother-in-law, my cousin's new wife, and even one of my very best friends all addressed me in this fashion, and perhaps all for different reasons.  Regardless, it didn't really give me the warm fuzzies.  Instead, it got me to wondering.

Having already sat through countless diatribes on this very subject, my loving husband gently suggested I let the matter go.  And I did, it being Christmas and all.  But then I mentioned it again, just once.  And now I suppose I'm mentioning it yet again, to you. 

Perhaps I'm being oversensitive, but I can't help but find this outdated, moth-eaten, musty form of address to be vexing.  Is it just me?  Because in this day and age, if a woman being addressed by a man's first name is truly the only proper, genteel way of doing things, call me improper!  Just don't call me late for happy hour.  (Sorry.  Kittie made me write that.)

Especially now, when political correctness is so unbridled people are actually blaming portly Santa Claus for the collective plight of childhood obesity!  I suppose he does set a poor example, what with all his pudgy, merry philanthropy.  Some folks would even prefer him to say ha ha ha in lieu of ho ho ho.  Now, if ho ho ho has become too slutty a phrase for Jolly Old Saint Nick, surely my humble case isn't too far out there.

Before you get the wrong idea, let me go on record and say I adore being married to my husband.  I've even been known to declare that without him life would be a party I could not attend.  (I'm such a romantic.  A maudlin, morbid romantic.) 

At the risk of sounding too saccharine, I would go so far as to say I was born to marry this person. 

That said, I resent the fact that this whole issue makes me feel just a bit guilty, as if by wanting to retain my forename I'm somehow being disloyal to the love of my life.  Logically, I really don't believe one has anything to do with the other and yet...

Call me kooky, I guess I'm just one of those people who likes to see her own name in print.  Preferably on an envelope. 

xoxo

~Odd Broad Disclaimer: If you happen to be one of the myriad of souls who've addressed me in writing as Mrs. Hubby's first and last name, do not fret, for I still love you dearly.  While I may seem opinionated on the subject, I don't judge, not really.  After all, while writing this, I speedily inhaled an entire box of Annie's shells and cheese, justifying it with the comforting knowledge that at least it was organic.  To each her own, Que sera, sera, and all that.  xoxo

Comments

[Keely]

I just sent out my first Christmas cards as an adult. I ran into a problem when sending cards to people who weren't married. Do you put both of their full names on the front of the card? It takes up so much space. And then there's always the people who have been divorced 3 times and you don't actually know what their last name is. It's all very stressful.

[Mrs. Mark]

Please say it wasn't me!!! While addressing your envelope I remembered your dislike of being called Mrs. so I'm pretty sure I didn't address your envelope that way, however, I've been extremely flaky lately, so if it was me I'm sorry Mrs.

[The Odd Broad]

Hi Keely Bubs!! I know, it's totally confusing...I read up on it a little on Emily Post. You can put both names, one on top of the other. And if one part of a married couple "ranks" higher than the other, you put them first. Kinda weird. She has a lot of useful hints.

I liked the way you addressed mine! That's how I prefer to do it, too... "The so & so's..." I find it whimsical and lovely. xoxo

Hi Am! Don't worry, you did mine perfectly! Surprisingly, it was Vanessa who did it!! Hopefully she won't kill me when she reads this. (Sorry, Weenie) :)

You can call me 'Mrs.' though, I totally like that. Just not the "other" way!! (Mrs. Man's first & last name) xoxo

[weinerdog]

Bonjur and........

Sorry Mrs.!

[The Odd Broad]

Ah it's no biggie. You know I still love you!

Hope you're enjoying Montreal! xoxo

[Karen]

I totally agree with you Odd B. I have a hard time with the Mr. & Mrs. thing. I haven't even changed my last name to his nor will I. I feel it's not the name I was born with so why should I be the one to change it? It's an old tradition and I feel it's ment to be broken. You should always find out if someone is going to change their last name when they get married and then address them properly. I know it's a pain in the ass but it's the polite thing to do. I'm off my soapbox....

[The Odd Broad]

Crap. I totally called you guys "The (so & so's)" when I addressed you! For some reason I thought you'd changed your name...

Forgive me, Kar-Bear! The Broad knew not what she did! xoxo