Somehow I managed to pull myself away from my little angel of a nephew to be a bridesmaid in my cousin Stephen's wedding this past Saturday.
I danced till I dropped that night. I shudder to think of the moves I performed on that dance floor. For me, wedding dancing means two things: one, I am now unable to move either of my legs without wincing, and two, I was very, very intoxicated.
Three and a half robust glasses of pinot grigio on an empty stomach means something different to everyone. For me, I suppose it means I will spontaneously break into aggressive dance. Such is life.
I had to dance at Stevie's wedding, though. Over the years my cousin and I have had a number of memorable adventures together. There was the time he saved his brother Mikey and me from a garden snake. We must've been about four or five. "Stand back, I'll handle this!" Stephen solemnly instructed us, and Mikey and I obeyed, clutching each other on top of the picnic table.
"OK, you guys ready?" Stevie waited about five seconds before calling out, "Maaaaaa!"
That story didn't really translate when I told it at a keg party in high school. "Stevie! Remember when you saved us from the snake?! Remember?"
We got thrown out of a bar on his 26th birthday. It was also New Year's Eve and my husband's band was also playing at the time. This was not one of our finer moments.
Curiously, from the nose down, everybody says Stephen and I look exactly alike. Apparently we have the same mouth. My husband finds this comparison extremely bothersome, and I can't say I blame him.
Creepy twin mouths aside, the wedding was lovely. There was a tense moment at the rehearsal, though, when our cousin Little Jimmy showed up with an enormous bandage on his right cheek. Everyone assumed a bar fight was to blame, but Jimmy promptly informed us he'd been whacked with a two by four at work. He'd gotten eight stitches. It was the day before the wedding. What were the odds?
Naturally, the bride was none too pleased. Perhaps we could find a bandage to match his tuxedo?
He and my uncle were my partners walking down the aisle. Uncle had badly hurt his leg recently so he was limping and wearing a sandal on one foot, and half of Jimmy's face was bandaged up. We made a good looking trio.
I feel I should mention, at 22, Lil' Jimmy is certainly no longer little. He's a man. His dad is Big Jim, though Little Jim outweighs him now by probably 100 pounds. All this won't stop us from calling him Lil' Jim for the rest of his life, of course.
It would be hours later at the rehearsal dinner, when Stephen and his fiance were giving out gifts and saying sentimental things, when Jimmy would reveal to everyone his bandage was nothing but a hoax.
He'd really had us going there. We were all most impressed by his ingenuity.
The idea had dawned on him while he was stopped at a red light. He'd glanced over at the person in the next car and saw that his face was all bandaged up. Hmmm. Lil' Jim called his Mother for guidance and asked if his plan was too sick a thing to do to his cousin the night before his wedding.
My Aunt's response? "I'll tape you up!"
I should also mention he had the priest very concerned as well. "What happened to you, son?"
Little Jim later told me he paused at that moment, perhaps experiencing a conflict of morals before answering, "I got hit by a two by four, father."
Well, he'd gone this far, why stop now? You can't say he's not committed.
All in all, the wedding was a fun event. I wished my sister could have been there, but she and her husband were home, cuddling with their beautiful little miracle.
I got to see my nephew again on my way back to New York yesterday. We rocked together and I told him, in my obsessive compulsive style, how very very very much I loved him.
He seemed to say the same thing back.
xoxo





Did Katie take the reigns and do a couple of splits?
Posted by: Amy | December 03, 2007 at 04:25 PM
But of course. Cartwheels too.
She was channeling you! :)
Posted by: The Odd Broad | December 03, 2007 at 08:15 PM
I feel so proud. :)
Posted by: Amy | December 03, 2007 at 10:51 PM