Tommy used to work on the docks

How does one determine if one's holiday soiree was a smashing success?

Did a grown man sip straight vodka through a sippy straw?  Check.

Was there multiple spillage?  Check.  (I knocked over an entire glass of "water" and then realized it was Absolute Pear.)

Did the landlord make a phone call?  Check.  (It was 2:35 am.  He just wanted to see if something was wrong with the toilet.)

Did the party break up around 4am?  Check.

Did the hostess imbibe sangria, prosecco, pinot grigio, sauvignon blanc, and champagne throughout the evening and still manage not to vomit or burst into showtunes?  Check!  (Well, there may have been one showtune, but it was pertinent to the anecdote being told.) 

Speaking of singing, around 3:30am certain noises emanating from the living room caused me to take pause. 

These sounds I speak of?  They were coming from none other than Hubby.  He was surrounded by several of his coworkers, strumming his acoustic guitar and singing Poison.  Now, my husband is an extremely skilled musician, but when he sings it means two things and two things only: one, he is highly intoxicated, and two, he will use rock star enunciation.  I was mystified when I first discovered this phenomenon...

Every rose has its thorn-AH.  Just like aaeevery night-AH has its dawn.  Just like aaaeeevery cowboy-AH, sings a saaaad, saaaad, song-AH...

In his every day life Hubby speaks in a perfect standard American dialect, yet curiously when he sings all of a sudden he's from Jersey.  And his middle name becomes Bon Jovi. 

I excused myself from the tarot card reading I was sloppily performing to put a quick end to the singalong.  Please know I was only doing this to be kind.  Hubby is ordinarily a private, reserved kind of guy.  Surely he'd thank me in the morning for saving him from singing 80's power ballads in front of his coworkers.

"OK Bret Michaels, hand over the guitar.  I'm only doing this because I love you." 

People were disappointed.  Apparently he's a real crowd pleaser.

I suppose Hubby deserved to get a little messy.  After all, he shopped, he cleaned, he'd gotten things ready while I was out that afternoon.  He passed around mini wieners and mozzarella sticks on a snowman tray.  He even fanned the napkins for a nice presentation.  And whereas my hungover self didn't take a shower until nearly 5pm today, Hubby got up and went into work. 

I must say, it was a lovely evening.  I even got to blow out the candles on an early birthday cake.  Those 2 and 9 candles kind of threw me for a loop, but just for a split second. 

I've really never been good with secrets.  Immediately after blowing out the candles I announced, "Oooh I made a good one, wanna hear?"

I did make a wish, and it was a good one, but I can't tell you what I wished for because then it won't come true.  Of course I really want to tell you though. 

But now I hear ya' found some-baaady new-AH, an' that I nev-ah meant that much ta you-AH.  Ta hear that tears me up inside-AH and ta see you cuts me-AH, like a knife, I said aaaavery rose has its thorn-AH...

You should hear him do living on a prayer. 

xoxo

Comments

[Weinerdog]

The Parteeee was grand!
I have a HUGE bruise on my rear sort of the shape of California......why you ask?

Because I fell down your front steps....oopsy!
Then I fell down on the sidewalk and when I tried to get up I kept falling down over and over in my usual graceful clown way until I decided I was just going to sit there on the ice.

Someone didn't think that was such a good idea and hauled my ass to a bar!

[The Odd Broad]

Poor Weenie!! :(