An Awkward Moment, Brought To You By The Odd Broad

One more week wearing my glasses.  One more week sans contact lenses.  The glasses are really starting to cramp my style, and not only from a vanity standpoint.

Allow me, if you would, to share a painful anecdote with you...

It was late this past Friday, somewhere in Tribeca, at an afterparty for a show Hubby had just played.  I must mention that this was the first time he's played with this band, so we virtually knew nobody and were mingling as best we could, for two semi-shy folks such as ourselves.

As I emerged from the ladies room, I spotted Hubby seated at a table with his back partially facing me.  He appeared to be deep in conversation with a band member's Dad.  Upon seeing me, he turned and mouthed something and I leaned in to hear what he was saying and...banged my forehead into a glass window.  A glass window that I'd been standing right in front of, apparently.  I shit you not.  I'm a frigging bird. 

Hubby looked most concerned, but still found himself mid-conversation, and unfortunately (or fortunately?) it was one of those awful moments that nobody else had witnessed.  Or had they and were they simply too tactful and mortified to react?  Good God.  These people must think I'm mental!   

Wanting to share my pain with someone, anyone, I turned to a waiter and informed him that I'd just whacked into the glass, like a bird.  After all, humiliation craves company, does it not?  I hoped he would laugh, but instead he was horrified ("Oh my God!  Are you okay?"), which was not the angle I'd been going for at all.  Oh dear.

I blame my glasses, truly I do.  And Windex.  I blame Windex.  Damn you, streak-free shine!

Comments

[Weinerdog]

I have one pair of contacts left, they are in my eyes and my right eye stings and waters constantly.

You have provided the perfect reason NOT to wear my glasses!!!

Hope your head is okay!

[The Odd Broad]

Thanks, Weinie. Please get a new pair, though- I don't want you going through the same ordeal as me!! Although they say this just happens sometimes, with lenses. I asked the doc and he said I wasn't contageous...which made me feel MUCH better since Claudia did our makeup the other day! xoxo

[Weinerdog]

Okay! Now I have to get friggin' eye drops!!!!
I somehow scratched my right eye!
The damn doctor wouldn't give me a contact for it!!!
So I insisted on one for the left eye, I'm now a pirate!
But I ain't wearing my glasses!

[The Odd Broad]

Ahoy, Matey! Just kidding. Do you have an eye infection? Oh I hope you don't have to go on the 'roids as well! That would be scary, don't you think? (Everyone keeps telling me that my mood cannot be affected by them, but I do feel strange...)

[Weinerdog]

No infection just some antibiotic drops to help the scratch on my cornea.
I'd be sooo scary on the 'roids!

[The Odd Broad]

I think the scratching comes from taking out the contacts, sometimes? I get to wear mine again next Monday, if all goes well. I think maybe God punished me for complaining about my glasses so much, because today I left them at home by mistake! I had to spend the entire day au natural...which meant everything was a complete blur and I kept smiling at strangers because I couldn't tell if they were strangers or not. Yes!

[Weinerdog]

I just walked straight into a woman in the lobby!

[The Odd Broad]

I think wearing only one lens is just as dangerous as wearing none...it's difficult to gauge depths...people...walls...

When did we become so old and blind Laverne?