Easter Musings

I hope everyone had a happy Easter, filled with much laughter and Peeps.  (Sort of sensitive to the whole Peeps issue now that I've learned everyone but myself enjoys them.) 

This year was the first time in 28 years that I didn't go home for Easter.  I stayed in NY and hoped the Easter Bunny would remember my address.  Just in case he didn't, I did the following to try and keep the day festive:

• Went to the store and bought a dozen eggs to dye.  Unfortunately, they were brown eggs, which I'm not sure are ideal for dyeing?  This blunder was reminiscent of our first Thanksgiving in NY, when Hubby and I learned a frozen turkey requires much longer than a few hours to thaw.  (Also, running it under hot water is not advised.)  We made chicken that year.
• Cooked Easter brunch and planned a delicious dinner: steak paninis on ciabatta bread with au jus for dipping, with sauteed mushrooms and spinach on the side.  Sadly, I imbibed too many mimosas at brunch and we ended up ordering Thai food for the third time this week.  If we keep this up it's quite possible I may morph into a plate of chicken with cashew nuts.
• Instructed my hubby to leave chew marks on the carrots I left out for The E.B.  He didn't have to, though, because it turns out the Easter Bunny knows my address here after all!  It was an Easter miracle. 

Staying in town over the holiday left me plenty of time to observe and reflect upon the following disturbing things:

1.  For two months I haven't purchased an actual box of tampons, but have instead been buying them from the vending machine at work.  I'm aware that this is wrong on so many different levels, yet part of me wants to see how many months I can go without purchasing an actual box.

2.  I woke up the other morning with a terrible ache on my right shoulder, and it occurred to me the cause might be my shoulder bag.  I put it on the scale just now and discovered it actually weighs 10 pounds.  Some contents of monstrously heavy (but cute) bag:

• 1 can of Paul Mitchell sculpting foam (For the shameful mornings when I leave for work with wet hair.  Sadly, this is not uncommon.)
• 1 apple, slightly worn
• 1 two month-old box of raisins
• 1 broken umbrella (quite dangerous on rainy days, two of the spokes stick straight out)
• 2 eyelash curlers (this is just weird)
• "Head On", "Migrastick", Advil (the O.B. sometimes gets headaches, both tension and chardonnay induced)
• Mary Kay Satin Hands cream (Sister threw a Mary Kay party last summer.  At the time I made fun, but this hand cream turned out to be quite lovely, actually.)
• tweezers (Is anything more upsetting than finding a stray chin hair midday?  I exercise the right to pluck anytime, anywhere!)
• 3 eyeliners, 1 mascara, 3 eye shadows, 1 blush, 1 makeup kit, 4 lip glosses, Venom lip plumper (for the days when I want Ms. Jolie lips)
• 3 Tampax (purchased for a quarter each from aforementioned Ladies Room vending machine)
• one tube of Neosporin, one tube of CVS Scar Gel (my chin is healing quite nicely)
• one ancient nail file, for the times when my co-worker talks on speaker phone and I need to retaliate.
• 2 Virgin Mary prayer cards (just because) 
• 2 Sabon body butter pots (I find these products nothing less than life-affirming.)
• various papers, bills, forgotten jury duty forms (woopsie), jewelry warranties, pay stubs, 2 playbills, one million, four hundred, and thirty three receipts...

            All this and (much) more adds up to ten pounds.  Time to clean out the bag.

3.  A van passed by me the other day sporting the following logo:  Three Way Plumbing Supplies.  (Although my sister didn't get this one, I have to say my inner adolescent giggled like a dirty hyena.  I would've liked to have been a fly on the wall during the brainstorming session that resulted in the choice of such a name.)

4.  And finally, in continuing on the curious name for a business theme, I passed a children's clothing store on Steinway Street in Astoria, called: "Temptation - for Kids."  I came up with several possible justifications for such an inappropriate name, a few being:

• The space went from a "tempting" lingerie store to a children's wear store and the owners were too frugal to change the sign and hoped nobody would notice?
• The owners have a poor grasp of the English language and are in dire need of counsel?
• It is simply a wildly inappropriate sign with no logical explanation whatsoever?  (I'm thinking we have a winner here with this last one.)

Ah, well.  I hope everyone had a lovely weekend!

~The O. B.

Comments

[Jenn]

Sah, Does that Head on stuff really work? It is truely the funnies commercial..."head on, apply directly to the head, head on apply directly to the head" I mean come on! It doesn't even say for headache? I like icy hot and I think same idea? Plus I can't weigh my bag, I am sure it's like 18lbs! I usually contain 1-2 stethoscopes, many lab books and reading materials, cream, makeup, TONS of pens and writing utencils, wallet, checkbook, papers, powerbar, mints, well....you understand!

[The Odd Broad]

Actually, Head On has worked for me a bunch of times. It cools the forehead...sometimes it feels kind of sickening but it usually works! And every time I use it I want to say, "Head On: Apply directly..." but then I have to stop myself. Sometimes. teehee. :)

[Amy]

My mother-in-law made an entire platter of Peeps dunked in milk and white chocolate for Easter, and for the first time I realized how horrible they look.... so I only ate four of them.

[The Odd Broad]

I admire your willpower, I know how much you love the peeps. I googled and found out people do all sorts of things with Peeps. One man creates artwork out of them. Like, he created a "Peeps Wedding"- with a little groom peep and a little bride peep. http://www.peepsshow.com/mainframe.html