The Intervention

I have a problem.  A real bad one.  To quote the timeless words of George Michael circa 1987, Don't look now, there's a monkey on (my) back.

Much to the dismay of those closest to me, for the past month a catchy 1970's TV theme song has taken up permanent residence in my head.  Sadly, it seems I am either unable or unwilling to stop myself from serenading anyone within earshot with this ditty. 

All of my past attempts at quitting have proved futile.  The fact is, I cannot expel this remarkable tune from my head and I find myself spontaneously bursting into song in the shower, on the toilet, washing dishes, sauteing mushrooms, on the phone, in my sleep, in the elevator at work, walking down the street...

It's HELL, I tell ya!

Two days ago Hubbers decided the time had come for an intervention and I have been subsequently banned from vocalizing this song in any form.  It is now permanently exiled from my repertoire. 

This isn't the first time I've been the recipient of such radical measures.  I found myself in a similar pickle last year when I was forced to excommunicate the words dingus and dingleberry from my vocabulary.  The latter word was overused and abused even more when I discovered its actual meaning.  (At first I thought it only meant silly.)

In theory, this musical prohibition should be a simple thing for me to adhere to, right?  Not right.  While brushing my teeth within the first two minutes of going cold turkey, I made six unconscious attempts to sing or hum this addictive melody.

The object of my constant musical obsession?  The tune that's been haunting me morning, noon and night?  Dare I even speak its name, for fear it will creep back into my life?

Ah, why not.  You won't tell anyone I sang it, will you? 

The tune I speak of is the remarkable theme song from the 1976 situation comedy, *Alice.  Here, I'll sing it for you:

There's a NEW girl in town, with a brand new style...

She was just passing THROUGH...

But if things work out she's gonna stay...ah-a-while...

Bum-bum-BUM-ba, ba-a-ahhh...

This is just an excerpt, in actuality I prefer to belt out the song in its entirety, including the closing credits version...you know, when Linda Lavin doesn't actually sing words, only la las and doo doos? 

Quitting has been harder than I ever imagined possible.  I only hope I have the willpower to stay on the wagon.  Pray for me, Dear Reader.

Ba Ba BAH Ba, Ba-ah-aahh...

*Although there's no denying this show possesses a painfully catchy theme song, I realize in the past I've spoken harshly about "Alice."  In retrospect, I will continue to stand by my beliefs.  After all, I could hardly enjoy a meal at Mel's Diner while Alice is licking her fingers after buttering the toast and Flo is smacking her chewing gum and fluffing her hair while serving the customers.  The entire sitcom is crawling with health code violations.  It makes for riveting television, though, don't you think?

Comments

[Kathleen]

I have had that crazy Beatles song in my head all week that goes "obladi oblada life goes on bra!" And not because of the Beatles, because I keep thinking of that old show Life Goes On with Corkey Thatcher and the girl with the red glasses. I was belting this song out very loudly while ironing the other night - my boyfriend and the cats were not very happy with me.

[The Odd Broad]

I've had that weird Huey Lewis/Gwyneth Paltrow duet stuck in my head all morning..."I love it when we're cruisin' together..." and I have no idea why. Although now I might start singing obladi oblada instead! :)

[Sissy]

Now I'm singing it again. Thanks for nothing.

[WeinerDog]

I now have the One Day at a Time theme song stuck in my head and it doesn't help that Vallerie Bertinelli is on TV every 2 seconds to remind me!

[The Odd Broad]

I don't even know what to think about Valerie doing those Jenny Craig commercials. It disturbs me, yet I can't look away. "Ba, ba, ba, bah...One Day at a Time..."