Your womb or mine?

Should it hurt my feelings that yet another co-worker has asked me if I am with child? 

At which point should the laughter cease and the weeping begin?

Oh, damn you, tiny white tank top from H+M, 92% nylon 8% spandex, and worn with a too small sweater from Target that I had buttoned at the top but not at the bottom!  I know better than to think this is a flattering work look, as it was obviously showcasing my PMS bloat.  But alas, it was 7:00 am and I was too tired to care.

It all caught up with me yesterday around lunch time.

Co-worker: "Sarah, are you pregnant?!!"

Me: (embarrassed, pissed, but smiling) "Nope!  Just bloated!  And slouching!  Gotta stand up straight!  See, my Mom always tells me not to slouch and stick my stomach out!" 

And the babbling commences.  Hey, this was fun!

Co-worker (brazen, unapologetic): "Oh, I ask because my daughter just got pregnant."

Me: "Oh, how wonderful!"

Her: "Yes, and she looks like you, that's why I ask.  Her belly looks just like yours!"

Great.  What would be considered an appropriate response to this?  Thanks?  That's exactly what I was hoping someone would say about my stomach today?  Fuck off?

The rest of the afternoon I couldn't help feeling like all eyes were on my womb.  Was I imagining this?  For some reason I felt compelled to start holding my belly.

This broad has had enough.  Next time I will say nothing at all, I shall just turn and skip away, humming the theme to Charles in Charge, perhaps.  Or maybe I'll pull out a nip of Jack Daniels and start chugging away: "Sure I'm pregnant!  We're so happy!!"   

NOTE TO THE WORLD:  Please stop asking women of child-bearing age if they are expecting.  It is invasive and absolutely none of your beeswax.  It is a potential day-ruiner, and can quite possibly cause a gal to feel bloated, vile, and dumpy.

Bite your tongues, wicked ladies.  Bite your tongues.  That is all. 

Comments

[Jenna]

I still cannot believe that somebody would think it was alright to ask that question!! Even if you were, why would you tell that woman? HELLO? Is anybody listening? Rude, rude, rude.

P.S. You're skinny.